Oh Italy. Where to start. After a week and a half of doing nothing in Greece, we were quite excited to get back to city living and exploring in Italy. We immediately missed Greece, however, when we were introduced to the sweltering Italian heat. Every day was flirting with 100 degrees (or 37 degrees Celsius if you're a backwards European...or chemist), cloudless, windless, and humidity was often at least 90%. Blech. Beautiful...but blech.
Rome is ancient and amazing. Our travel guide book said that the reason the Rome metro system is so awful is that because every time they start digging to build a new line they unearth new ruins that instantly become historical sites. Seeing the Colosseum was unreal, although we almost didn't even get the chance because it was there that we had our first run in......with the law. After exiting the metro stop, we were pulled aside by two Italian cops, porcos if you will. They requested to see our passports with no probable cause and my years of experience of watching Law and Order immediately kicked in. My first thought was that they were crooks, fresh out of Italian jail looking to swindle two very handsome Americans. That thought was quickly diminished when I noticed that they were dressed in what appeared to be authentic albeit funny looking uniforms, and more importantly, they had guns. My second thought was that my life of crime had come to an end. A brilliant career that started with me stealing a Goosebumps sticker (sorry Mom) and ended with me sneaking into an Italian outdoor showing of Puss in Boots (sorry Mom). Goose had her passport in her bag but mine was in the hotel room and all I had on me was an International Youth Card that is not an official ID and has a picture of me that looks like THIS. After five minutes of jotting down info, the police handed Goose her passport and sent us on our way. No doubt we are now on some sort of watch list. Apologies to all Chris Millers of the world.
Florence was by far the most low key city we have visited. We spent almost all of our time sitting outside the Duomo, which is this huge dome located in the central of the city. The Duomo looked like nothing else I have seen on this trip. It was beautiful and dwarfed everything around it but mainly, it looked fake. It's hard to describe but the paint job made it look like a prop from a movie set. Like it could be pushed over with a strong wind. The painting on the building included shadows and texture and depth to make it appear 3D as though it were just a flat picture on a piece of paper. It was where all the cool kids hung out to drink late at night on the steps. Naturally we found ourselves there often, mainly because the AC in our room was awful. Most nights I only made it two hours before waking up covered in sweat. Florence destroyed our sleep schedule.
Venice is a place unlike anywhere I've ever been. There are no buses, no cabs, no cars, no motorcycles. There aren't even bicycles as every three blocks you have to walk up the steps of a bridge over a canal. It goes without saying that the city is not very handicapable. It appears the Venetians are a bunch of disabilists. The only way to traverse the city is by walking or by some form of boat. They have water taxis but of course the most glamorous is the gondola. Venice always brings to mind two young lovers on a long boat being effortlessly guided through the water by a handsome lad belting out That's Amore. Though our gondolier spent most of the time hollering at other gondoliers, he did not disappoint and often burst into song.
The hardest part about Italy was navigating the roads. Often within a span of six blocks one straight road would change names three times so we often got lost. We started making mnemonic devices so Pandolfini became James Pandolfini and Brogio de Trossi became Portia de Rossi. My favorite was in Venice when we stayed at Hotel Failure (Falier).
Now we are back in Paris where we hang for three days before chunneling to London for five days of hooking up with Olympians. When I proposed to Goose I added an addendum that we both get clearance for bedding Olympic athletes. Hopefully our relationship can make it through Olympic Village, but since my fiancee has had an eye on Subway whore Michael Phelps since 2004, as a backup I'm hoping to nab Misty May Treanor Miller.
CM
Rome is ancient and amazing. Our travel guide book said that the reason the Rome metro system is so awful is that because every time they start digging to build a new line they unearth new ruins that instantly become historical sites. Seeing the Colosseum was unreal, although we almost didn't even get the chance because it was there that we had our first run in......with the law. After exiting the metro stop, we were pulled aside by two Italian cops, porcos if you will. They requested to see our passports with no probable cause and my years of experience of watching Law and Order immediately kicked in. My first thought was that they were crooks, fresh out of Italian jail looking to swindle two very handsome Americans. That thought was quickly diminished when I noticed that they were dressed in what appeared to be authentic albeit funny looking uniforms, and more importantly, they had guns. My second thought was that my life of crime had come to an end. A brilliant career that started with me stealing a Goosebumps sticker (sorry Mom) and ended with me sneaking into an Italian outdoor showing of Puss in Boots (sorry Mom). Goose had her passport in her bag but mine was in the hotel room and all I had on me was an International Youth Card that is not an official ID and has a picture of me that looks like THIS. After five minutes of jotting down info, the police handed Goose her passport and sent us on our way. No doubt we are now on some sort of watch list. Apologies to all Chris Millers of the world.
Venice is a place unlike anywhere I've ever been. There are no buses, no cabs, no cars, no motorcycles. There aren't even bicycles as every three blocks you have to walk up the steps of a bridge over a canal. It goes without saying that the city is not very handicapable. It appears the Venetians are a bunch of disabilists. The only way to traverse the city is by walking or by some form of boat. They have water taxis but of course the most glamorous is the gondola. Venice always brings to mind two young lovers on a long boat being effortlessly guided through the water by a handsome lad belting out That's Amore. Though our gondolier spent most of the time hollering at other gondoliers, he did not disappoint and often burst into song.
The hardest part about Italy was navigating the roads. Often within a span of six blocks one straight road would change names three times so we often got lost. We started making mnemonic devices so Pandolfini became James Pandolfini and Brogio de Trossi became Portia de Rossi. My favorite was in Venice when we stayed at Hotel Failure (Falier).
Signs like this do not help
CM
Misty may!
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