Mad About Madrid

Como se dice: Girl's got some ups.

Maybe it's because we only had 3 days there, but man do I want to go back to Madrid. We were all over the city but there were still so many more places we didn't have the chance to explore. In all but one city we've stayed in AirBnB apartments and sometimes the neighborhood is hit or miss and can often substantially sway the mood of the visit. For example, our Bratislava neighborhood was not great if you wanted to go to any business after sunset, let alone if you needed to find alcohol at 1AM. Madrid was the exact opposite. We stayed in an area called LAVAPIES pronounced Lava-Pee-Ace but naturally we just called it LovePies. 

Stencil graffiti is all over the city but it's hard to be hardcore when you have hearts for letters.

LovePies used to be a very poor and drug ridden neighborhood but recently it has flourished when young people moved in to take advantage of its cheap housing. In the middle of the square there are 8 streets shooting in all directions that have every possible type of cuisine you'd want. Hands down I had the best chicken fajita in my life at a place called Portos. We spent several nights at the street tables in front of Portos enjoying their buckets of beer for absurdly cheap prices, just enjoying the buzz of the nightlife and people milling through the area. There's a constant police presence which has dropped the crime dramatically but still we were offered drugs everyday. Nothing compared to the amount in Lisbon, but that's for the next post. 

Lovepies is always bumpin.

Flamenco! Now I've been told by many friends and strangers that I have the freshest moves on the dance floor, and I've won my fair share of dancing championships, but I've got nothing on these dancers. Flamenco is a Spanish dance which consists of a lot of clapping and a large stout man bellowing out words faster than I thought possible. Remember old school Geocities websites that would automatically start playing some terrible song as soon as you accessed it? If I knew anything about websites, I would set that unavoidable automatic music file for this blog post but instead of a dancing yodeling hamster, it would be rhythmic clapping and the click-clack stomping of feet. Luckily for you, I do not.

Sadly there was not an amateur night for me to show off my skills.

One of the most beautiful spots of Madrid is Buen Retiro Park which is in the Eastern part of the city. The park is an enormous green space with an abundance of places to nap, read, people watch, or drink excessive amounts of sangria. One of the most popular spots in the park is the pond Estanque del Retiro where young handsome athletic lovers (sound like anyone you know?) rent rowboats and troll around the water. It was a dangerous call since the last time Katie and I tried something similar we nearly broke up over a paddle boat ride through Amsterdam. Luckily this time was beautiful and our marriage is still intact. Sidenote: the word "rowboat" has forever been ruined for me by the movie I, Robot because customers at my movie theatre didn't understand the I ROBOT marquee and would ask for two tickets to "EE-ROH-BOAT". Although nothing was worse than Viggo Mortenson's horse desert race movie...you know the one....Hidildo.

 

We tried to have jousting matches with other boats but everyone else (wisely) backed down.

My favorite part of Madrid was the bar Tartan Roof on top of Circulo de Bellas Artes, an 8 story building just off the main shopping strip of Gran Via. Now it cost 3€ to get to the top of this badboy but it's worth it. Now I know you badasses are considering just slipping up without paying but we tried that already. We stealthily avoided the front desk clerk but then we were prompted for a ticket, which of course we didn't have so we had to go back down. I even tried to pay the guard to let us stay up there but he said we had to go back and pay on the first floor. You win this time, Spain. So pay the few shekels and go upstairs and enjoy the view.

 

In addition to the view, dont miss the lovely gazelle and lady butt art.

On top of the building was an outdoor art exhibit of photography ranging from nature shots to city landscapes to a naked man that body painted himself a dozen different times to look like each of the Avengers and X-Men. Obviously my favorite was his interpretation of naked Hulk. In addition to the nude flaccid Wolverine art there was a bar up there with barca loungers meant for two. Katie and I spent several hours lying back, drinking Heinekens and gazing out over beautiful Madrid. If anyone is going to visit, I highly recommend hitting this place up, just make sure you "follow the rules" and pay their stupid fee. Damn the man.

Skylines, booze, and lying down is kind of our jam. 

Plus I got to use all my Spanish that I apparently still have in my system from barely paying attention over the last 14 years. For the most part we were Spanish experts but once people heard my awful accent they immediately switched into English. Ordering food was probably the easiest since that seems to be the thing every Spanish class covered. However, every once in awhile we would falter. We went to 100 Montaditos, a restaurant that sells 50 cent beers and tiny ass sandwiches (montaditos) for a buck. Katie tested out as proficient in college so naturally she should have no problem ordering our food. We talked it out and planned the speech for the server, and she was all pumped up and ready to go, but then she watched in horror as the customer in front of her had a 5 minute rapid fire conversation, an almost interview like grilling by the cashier. Once it was Katie's turn, the cashier looked at her and used only took one word to bring her crumbling down: Nombre? Nombre, a word that we learned as children, disappeared from Katie's brain and she slipped immediately into English. Valiant effort, girl. Oh and then the man misheard her "Nombre" and started calling her Kelly.

 

BreadMan is the stuff of nightmares. So much for ever sleeping again. I think it might even say DOOM on his chef hat.

Seriously. Madrid is amazing and I want to go back. Like right meow. I know Kelly feels the same way.

CM