We were SUPPOSED to get on the train to Barcelona tonight but I was pickpocketed on a very crowded Metro. I had my ticket in my pocket with TWO buttons on it and when I got to the train station that pocket only had ONE button buttoned and the ticket was gone. Our first mugging wasnt as glamorous as we had hoped. I didnt even get the chance to do a quick one liner like "Thats not a knife, this is a knife". Apparently Ive been carrying this machete around for no reason, but in my defense you can't not buy a machete when you see them at home depot for $5. We tried to buy another ticket before the train left but the line took too long. Funny enough, I actually lost Katie's pass, not mine. Once i pointed this out, i was the only one who thought it was funny. So I still had my ticket and I offered to meet her in Barcelona if it would be more convenient. She declined.
Also, our new umbrella broke immediately
This isnt just a tale of woe, my friends. Some good things blossomed out of this carwreck. While waiting in line, a boy from Baltimore asked us how long we had been waiting as he too had to catch the train leaving in twenty minutes. We told Baltimore it was hopeless as we were moving slower than Qwest's internet. BOOM! International burn. He said that he was just going to hop on and try to avoid the conductor, which is possibly the coolest thing I could imagine. Katie pointed out that we wouldn't go if we had only one ticket so we gave Baltimore my ticket and said, "Godspeed, my friend." Seriously. It pretty much made up for my missed Paul Hogan opportunity.
Now we are lounging in a hotel room in Paris with a terrace, drinking wine and eating foreign chips (which have nothing on American chips. USA! USA! USA!). Tomorrow we're going to the top of the Arc de Triomphe, picnicking in front of the Eiffel Tower and breaking into the Louvre (if time permits).
On an unrelated note, we drank with a bunch of single serving friends last night and during a game of Dare Jenga I had to kiss the male French bartender. Twice. I'm leaving my mark on this city. One charming long faced bartender at a time.
Exhibit A
CM
You don't realize it yet but that long faced bartender has also left a mark on you. only until your body is in a lowered immune state will you finally notice he gave you the mouth herp (i might suggest a follow up with sell.) enjoy. never trust frenchmen. also i feel that half-assed mugging will be about as close as you will get to being full on abducted. as such i am headed to barcelona to intercept that bastard and kill him...
ReplyDeleteAlso in your face sell, your reign as post master supreme has ended, another has risen. (suck it)
(sucking it)
ReplyDeleteIndeed. We'll run a quick old school Tzank smear for the herpes and a newer EBV EBER in situ RNA hybridization for possible mono that the barkeep may (pause for more sucking it... and back) have transmitted to the poor Milsinator.
Also, "single serving friends" = classic